As Shakta Advaita, our ancient epic quotes, the Divine Mother took form and bestowed her healing touch in the wombs of females of all species. It’s also believed that femininity of woman can not exist without her power or Shakti which is considered as a metaphor for the womanhood. She is also called Prakriti, as she balances out the male aspect of God or Purusha. Since ancient times, our literature and cultural beliefs had been using these pious expressions for women. But the legend of womanhood remained faded until recent past. Concept of a woman our grand parents possess completely contravenes the way we perceive her today. A woman in the past was a subset of her husband’s life, subdued with almost no individuality. Expenditure in her wedding and then her inability to be dependable later in their old age made her parents consider her a liability. She mutely accepted her ruin enslaving herself first of her father, then her husband and later on her son. But in the recent times, to the displeasure of social hypocrites, women have started objectifying this Shakti in a way never seen before.
Today’s woman is unwilling to relinquish her career which she tends to keep ahead of having kids. But it’ll be wrong to render this tendency as selfish because somewhere, it’s at the back of her mind that today, when world is more competitive and expensive than ever, continuous flow of money is needed to raise a child. That’s why; often she doesn’t budge while making uncomfortable decisions that bars her from having quality time with her loved ones. She is ambitious today and dreams big, and yet is conscious that men become insecure and don’t like it if she becomes too demanding, or if she learns faster than them. As mother, as wife, as daughter; she always tries to understand what is expected of her and endeavors to give her best. Even at work, I find stark difference when I work with women as compared to men. I find them more tolerant, considerate, patient and at times more organized.
Cooking had always been the domain of women. But when the passion for cooking rather than the love for the family becomes the driving reason for experimentation with food, then it becomes cumbersome for men to eat “the things” and still appreciate them. Said that, it becomes still more cumbersome when they have to tolerate “the aftermath” of such meals. Be that as it may, women love to cook and watch their beloved slurp new dishes. That’s why today, at the end of their day which is full of fight and struggle; even though women expect that their husbands should help them out, they never hesitate cooking for a family. Partly because of their unending love for them. Partly because of their far-sighted understanding that if a member is naturally better than the other in something, it’s wise to lead rather than to have an argument.
Of course they overdo few things. Being unmarried, I’m not very closely aware of the dynamic behavior of women who are at times more complex than quantum mechanics which even the likes of Niels Bohr once feared. But going by my experience with my mother, cousins; women are very very particular about the orderliness at home. They may occasionally shout at men for being messy and ask them to co-operate, but they take ownership of household duties. Perhaps that’s why there are housewives and no househusbands.
Shopping is something that a lot of women can’t do without. I mean, it’s not very unusual for them to feel that they can’t do without a dress/sandals/crockery etc they saw the earlier day. When I asked many women on this, they politely refused this and few even quoted Warren Buffet and his “spend-only-for-your-needs” philosophy. My respect for this lord of money has shot up like never before. If he keeps influencing these big-time shopaholics, I’ll certainly save on my pocket in the future. Said all, if you carefully analyze, you’ll find that very few items actually belong to our enthusiastic shoppers and most are for family and house. Be it renovation, furniture or utilities for family members; they never leave any stone unturned to translate a house bounded by walls into a home bounded by a thread of love and happiness. No wonder they are called homemakers.
All those involved in the conceptualization of the K-series soaps where those wealthy, dumb, cruel and lame creatures wear unearned expensive clothes and paint everything over their head and pass all the leisure time in dirty games, should be sued for portraying women so unjustifiably awful. Women are very much cost and time conscious. Many working women feel empowered enough to be able to support or even run the family. And most married women prefer to utilize their time for constructive activities and also own up the financial responsibilities in their own capacities. At home I’d never seen my mom resting for a jiffy after having a dreadful and tiring day. Our family had seen some tough financial times in the past, though dad never let those worries passed on to us. Today everything is well-off and kids are settled, still she refuses to spend for comfort and handles all the household duties, though maids can be afforded. Even today, there are swaying bargains while purchasing vegetables for a week and persistence advices passed on to children on saving.
Women are funny! In my company, while guys can be often seen fuddling with engineering tool box on shop floor, women can be seen carrying “colorful tool box” that they use very artistically in front of mirror! They need umbrellas to shed themselves from pitiless sun, which they often throw away in the rain. They follow Egyptian tradition of mummying themselves when they go out in the wind. The subjects like kaamvali bai, some girl seen somewhere with someone, recipes, clothes etc are enough for their discussions for hours. The wardrobe full of clothes is never enough for them. And they are convinced that God has created hair for experimentation only. In all, they are extremely conscious of the way they exhibit themselves. At the same time, they think that their endeavor of refurbishing themselves deserves unconditional acceptance and admiration. While we men laugh it out at their excessive insistence on appearance, we forget that cleanliness and beauty are nothing but the physical forms of purity.
There are few Masakkalis too. They appear very animated, conversational, untested and frantically expressive. They do away with facade, are completely genuine and natural in their behavior and hence at times easy to deal with. They mumble a song while working and celebrate tiny accomplishments. Many times I get a feeling that rationality in their thought process reaches only up to a point and from there, prejudices and emotions take over. But when I start unearthing their minds, the intellectual facets start blurring which eventually get clearer and clearer. Then I think: Is this innocence because of the fact that they never got a raw deal? But then I’ve seen many grown-up and mature women who’ve been at highly responsible positions in corporate world where one is consistently assessed and tested. Still they are so calm and balanced. Then I realize, women stay unaffected in most of uncomfortable situations because they don’t fall prey to the terrible evil called ego. Moreover, obligingly, with their soothing and gallant existence, they fill the emotional emptiness and gaps created by hardheaded and egoistic ideologies of men. Sometimes I think that as rationalists and lords of diplomacy, men might be good in describing what life is or how to live it. But in many ways these Masakkalis teach them how to be life.
What can one be fond of passionately? Exercise, cricket, WWE, movies, Video Games? Na! Here also women stump me by their amusing choices. They like gardening. They like sharing quality time with parents/friends. Many of them like painting or even dancing!
Women do reserve some time for themselves and their hobbies. But unlike their mad and crazy spouses, they do it in full knowledge of the fact that unless they are satisfied and contented as an individual they can’t give a quality time to the family.
This is the prodigy of a woman. A woman who tries hard to be a part of happiness of her husband. Who strives hard to nurture the relationship she regards the most. Who is cultured, prudent and in the attempts to give her best becomes sloppy and vulnerable at times; but acts tough against all odds to take care of her husband. All this and in return, seeks only his understanding, his concern and just wants him to care for her sensitivities. Can’t he afford this for so much?
Be that as it may, it’s because of women that the world has become interesting, beautiful and better place to live in.
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