The Lighter Moments

Do you always find yourself sickly sweet & primed by some kind of emotion driving you crazy? Mind you, that may be anything. Worry, ambition, happiness, stress, frustration, impatience. While you walk, is it the fact that your eyes are seeing things, but nothing gets registered in brain as it is awfully busy processing at full capacity analyzing the things you choose to think on? If yes, then you are the member of the HMWS club. I mean Heavy Mind & Wounded Soul club. A mind & a soul overloaded by unnecessary thoughts & convictions that borrow significant part of your personal power, leaving you stressed, exhausted & forlorn.

We all, consciously or subconsciously, do add weight to our moments. Let’s see how we can draw out some mass out of them to make them lighter & hence easy to bear & more savory.

An example to cite on. My own. I really didn’t think I was capable of scribbling few lines on paper (Or shall I say strike my PC keyboard?). One clear day, I summoned the valor to start on & slashed few lines of my first ever writ. But then on, owing to versatile décor of English, the goal post shifted from putting on thoughts towards presenting good language. That’s why; the stuff I had presented earlier required a lot of effort. Effort in putting it together all the chaos inside, in the consciously measured words. Flow of thoughts was there. But drive kept shifting more towards keeping language difficult & hence impressive than conveying thoughts (The things we take time to understand impress us, no?). Over a period of time, as a sane thinker I realized this & decided to make it all a bit lighter, easier & hence human, henceforth. The spontaneity of ideas should indeed be dealt with the spontaneous words one can recall at that moment. And they never can be those toughies! So there I was, a simple dude, going about the world around him with the simplicity that he considers one of his bestowed virtues. My first conscious effort towards making the moments lighter for the writer inside me!

One of the most prevailing things that make mind vulnerable to the misery is refusal to acceptance. Acceptance of defeat & truth. This usually happens with people when they try to deny things as they always watch the world from the eyes of what they perceive themselves to be & not through clear, open eyes. So whenever they face failure, they stumble. Because they consider every option on the earth acceptable save defeat. They deny reality & choose to think it doesn’t exist or it’s not that grave, just like the poor little cat closing its eyes while slurping the milk. They try to wipe out the reality, unaware that they are getting wiped out by reality. Life is full of uncomfortable situations & you can’t avoid them. The pull of them is stalwart. Strong enough to make the moments still heavier. Instead, if these failures are seen in a light of opportunity to learn where you can cobble together, they can just be the blows to shape you to the perfection. Occasional confessions made with sporting approach are perfectly normal. Indeed, to walk tall & unperturbed while the hammer is on, you need to show a great deal of courage. But that’s the price of perfection when you choose to trade with your fate demanding the life of your choice.

Hesitate to compromise? Yeah, I’d like to hear honest answer. That is, Yes! This is another inflexibility of a man. I would like to share one personal experience. In my organization, as a part of HR initiative, exercise sessions are arranged where employees participate to get groomed in various management practices. In one of the sessions, we formed four teams which were regarded as four dummy companies which were to compete globally to acquire the customers. All four were given Rs. 1 crore each & they could use the money for dealing with other companies for customer it has. One full hour of chaotic bargains, dealings and negotiations was over. Results were put on. And to dismay of all, everyone seemed to be left with lesser money, fewer choices & struck business. This all happened because everyone was primed with only one motive. To win & beat the other. But in this, the need to acquire the customers was overlooked. When chances seemed deem to win, everyone was putting efforts to see how the other can’t get what he wants. There was a chance when two teams could have compromised & one could have won while other could still have earned some customers. That way, we could have had a winner & runner up. But the latter company saw to it that former didn’t get the customers of its choice. Result? Both lost. This is a classic case of what happens in professional rivalry. And seeing today’s competitive life, we fall to this predisposition to move ahead as well as keep others behind, adding weight to the moments we have in our hands. As I propose, if the need is given a priority, such a competition becomes an attempt to trade best effort & excel rather than keeping the opponents down.

What’s the common thread binding the people close to each other? Relationships. Man likes to socialize & everyone is of course keen to build & nurture relationships with others to form his close circle of buddies. Friends with whom laughs & tears can be shared together. In doing so, everyone invests in something called as “Favor Bank” where he himself has an account. He deposits favors to others’ account in the bank & withdraws favors from those accounts when he needs. But at times, this investment fails to earn dividends. We help our friend in need but when it comes to pay off, he simply denies or dithers to lend a hand. Still keeps demanding occasionally. Now a common individual, with all his kindness, finds it difficult to refrain from aiding. But each time he obliges his friend, the feeling of being robbed keeps harassing him. Time gains weight. Life gets loaded. Solution to this problem lies in your calculated sternness to his demands. If he is told how unfair his claims had been, in clear but compassionate tone of voice, perhaps he may learn this facet of his behavior which he was unaware of in the light of your discussion. And if Mr. Demander continues to bug you, say “No” & walk out of commitments. After all, even a relationship is a give-and-take deal.

As they say, your past success or failures are enemies of your future achievements. This because the past life increases our inertia, obviating us from being what we are capable of becoming. James in “The Zahir” of Paulo Cohelo felt the same way. He discovered he was destined to be a writer. But started off being a lyric & ended up being a successful celeb in his field. But then, he kept on hesitating strongly to write a book. Since he knew that as he was a bright spark as lyric, people will use his fame as a barometer for his writing as well. And if they find it not worth the effort, he would have been defeated not as a writer but as an achiever. Which of course is not acceptable. Upon persuasion of his wife, he decides to write a book finally. Eventually it hits the bestseller list & then starts his journey as a celeb writer. Time passes adding eminence to his name. And after being on top of the world, again at some heavier moment, when an article in some magazine is asked of him, the same inertia haunts him again refraining him from being the best writer he was. We meet the same indecision when we are challenged or asked to do something different that demands courage, effort & an inevitable change. Affected, often we accept the challenge emotionally, unprepared, and end up under doing to our ability. Result? A disastrous conclusion. Or we push the responsibility to some later moment or avoid it completely for being on a safer side, bearing the load of the moment, unable to dispose of the hopelessness. Our writer opts a funny way to let go of his past. He starts telling true story of his past to one of his companions & soon starts feeling dropped off. Space gets emptied after he escorted all the false dignity, ego & frustration out of his mind. He then fills this space with positive thoughts, commitments & dreams. And after a period of time, realizes that he is now capable of enjoying each day of life as if there were no tomorrow. And most important of all, he gets rid of the bug, called fear of unknown & uncertainty. The time becomes as light as a feather.

Everybody has his own ideas of heroic in human being. Somebody he adores, appreciates & respects. We are very conscious of the way we present ourselves, aren’t we? That’s because we constantly try to find the reflection of that heroic in our projected image that we sport when we are amongst people and are seen, judged & weighed. But this makes the real person inside you hide behind the layers of secrecy, semblance or arrogance. You are guarded because you are afraid that you can be seen through, exposing your weaknesses. Each moment you live, you borrow & put on something that is not yours. This only makes you unstable, anxious & worse- unreal. This pretension may even lead to a point when you loved ones start moving away. And an invitation to HMSW club is there at you door! I thing being original is the right to way to exist as only then you are comfortable and sure of yourself. You are at ease with the things that happen to you & give up taking life a way too seriously. And then, as Spencer Johnson describes, you learn to laugh at the blunders you made & start moving with your cheese wherever it moves, to have it & eat it too!

As Robin Sharma in “A Saint, a Surfer & a CEO” describes, your journey ahead, towards discovering yourself is not to be what you think you should be but what you had been as a kid, as a unique individual. When you start off in the journey to rediscover yourself, a regular dosage of courage & willingness to bring about positive change only help make your moments lighter & you start enjoying the adventure. And when you have voyaged ahead in your life being a ship in a stormy sea, you enthuse to find the new, strong & happy you. Because then you realize that ship is safe at the shore. But that’s not where she is meant to be. And striding out the way into ocean not only assisted her in seeing the new things, but also taught her to fight the odds out of her troubles & fights.

Corporate World & My Life

Even today I evoke the day 21^st July, 2006 when I, for the first time, stepped in L&T, with a sense of change in the way I looked towards world. The day of my transformation from a young amateur enthusiast into a responsible aristocratic professional. It was the same me, yet with a distant sense of detachment from childhood. Still somewhere, the hesitation was there that I should not care for this small change. I was poised. I turned back. I saw the choices I made & the share of my conscience in these choices as opposed to the pull of my parents. I saw the contradictions & they grew as I looked back with different set of questions.

But the stage was set. The induction program went on & we got acquainted with the versatile & giant domains of the organization through the talks of veteran who lived their work for an average of 25 years. All their authority was beaming in the chic style in which they carried themselves. Thorough understanding of business & bottomless knowledge of the products. And to add to this, the passion that radiated through their eyes. It was all new & fascinating for me.

We were all thrilled to listen that most of them joined L&T as GETs. And when they revealed how they rose to their current positions, giggles made one round through entire audi. I don’t mean bribes & dowries. But the fact is that a candidate has to put an excellent performance for about 16 whole years to rise to a DGM level. I’m sure they should have been given a daily dose of some good adhesive in the market. (Read Fevicol. Its tagline resembles the resilience of these people)

Seven days of doctrine concluded to flood us by information. Few of us learned that short but frequent naps surely increase endurance power & help keep one fresh. The departments were allotted to candidates according to strict statistical practices of random number theory! I was allotted PDP & later on subsequently, the design department in it. Thus started my corporate life which dished out hoards of lessons for me.

In my view corporate is a synergy. Synergy of all those sincere efforts put at individual levels by men driven by passion to fulfill the mission of organization, steered by the vision of its leader. This synergy has speed & purpose. It takes a form of a vector, that I call C-vector (C for corporate!) which has a magnitude & definite direction. We, the Young Turks with all the gusto & energy in the world, constitute the magnitude of this vector. But energy if accumulated may explode & hence needs to be channelized. Here comes the role of those clued-up seniors which show us the alleyway to march on! So seniors & juniors come together to form a prevailing force to move the industry & hence economy & hence nation.

Competence, willingness & commitment are always related in fragile sets of scales as to how one performs. But as they say, no matter how good an actor may be, if he has not understood his role fully, he keeps under doing to his ability & is misunderstood at times as a bad actor. Because he can’t identify his one area of expertise & keeps trying is hands at many places. He needs some grooming on these three grounds as well as time for his growth. And more than that, the answer to the question, “What went wrong?” But when people scrutinize the treatment of their superiors, they can’t stand the humiliation, often feel the beating undeserved & start living agony. Rationality in their thoughts goes upto certain point & from that point, convictions take over to take a form of alive force. For some, this force is directed towards the world in the form of aggression. For some, towards themselves, killing them. Leaders are those who make their fellowmen aware of this force within themselves... in right ways…at right times. They avoid the depravity for their men, when they look down after having listened things…in loud voice…that seems less commanding…more insulting…

Expertise in C-world strictly demands the wisdom that only comes through experience. The experience of having mistaken while the things are given a try. Gone are the days when you excel in a subject by reading books of scholars & start putting it all down on a paper. Here, you need to be resourceful, multi-talented & practical to apply your knowledge in demanding situations & should be able to deliver results in time. “I tried my best Sir” can’t be an excuse when things go off beam. You are hired to do your job & not to do your best!

But at times, being new-fangled puts you in uncomfortable & unpleasant situations. And I tell you, you are not prepared for that. Sometimes you hear a language you had never been used to. And at times, while “listening” from you boss, you realize – Oh, that also is my responsibility! I remember the days, and nights, that I burned because I felt I was not putting up my best simply because I couldn’t grasp the scope of my work & responsibility as opposed to what has been my past life-academic as well as personal. Expectation minus rewards is equal to burnout. And perhaps, this burnout was severe in my case as I had never been used to the petty treatment & always had been competent at whatever I undertook since I had been a kid. Exceptions are there-couple of semesters in Engg, when first rate performance deserted my result card. Yes, life has wider dimensions than good figures. Nevertheless, that taught me to accept failures. And I could summon courage to confront these failures because I could find some good friends, that I was starved of, since my 10^th. The guys that pulled me out of a “Vicious Circle”!

Pressures are inseparable facet of C-world which is a brutal form of expectation that crops up whenever a human resource is exploited. This is because everything you do here is a cost that pays off only when your product starts selling & earning dividends for its people. This cost is characterized by money & time. When my boss drops by me for a tete a tete , he expects not only the project plan, schedule & strategy but also the man hours & outlay for the activities. He often comes with this very interesting equation: Progress is equal to Innovation upon Time! Yeah, quite out of the box. To grow, innovate or be fast! No alternative. If one is not able to cope with it, at times he falls into the loop of anxiety, fear & restlessness, collectively causing him stress. He can avoid this if he puts intellect & not emotion on the driving seat & understands his role completely, prioritizes the to-do’s accordingly & separates performance from ego at work place. Most importantly, he should keep his individuality intact by salting away some time for himself, for things he loves to do-sports, hobbies, entertainment- and people he cares & loves the most.

Confidence, Courage & Conviction! The values I always worshipped. Together, they comprise a moral fiber of an individual for his endeavor not only as an employee but also as a living being. But it’s a transgression if he deceives himself by putting up a show of semblance just to satisfy his very human need, gratification. I’ve seen people raising their voices like anything in meetings just to be heard & recognized. But when it comes to taking a decision, they dither to say “Put it on my name chap! I take the responsibility”, choosing neither the leadership nor the subordination. In crisis, the damage control tags on but people continue tossing arguments just to sound “I’m not to blame” instead of, “Let’s come together guys & solve the problem”.

Indeed, exceptions are there. Few exalted top dogs do dare to step out of their comfort zone, sell decisions, command respect & escort their men to the fore. They are the men who expect nothing of nature without trading their best efforts. They are the sole hope & drive for the industry.

The two G’s that keep us moving? Gossip & Girls. And later play an important role in composing & spreading the gossip. It has been proved scientifically that few chuckles of gossiping help relieve people of stress & work pressure. Be it a pretty new girl making rounds in the department or a story of how one poor fellow was hauled over the coal by boss who deems every person under him as mixture of imbecile & enemy; the chat goes on, freshening the loaded lives. The favorite subject? HR policies. When this issue crops up, everybody becomes so charged up that only the clock can stop them. Breakfast or Tea without such a tiny round table conference sounds insipid & incomplete. Few use sarcasm to generate humor. Few open up with their problems to get dropped off. Others just savor the stuff, pleased with the thought-Hey, I’m not alone!

This is corporate, the C-world, where experience is the only teacher & where you spend most of the active time of your life. If you learn to live in present, exploiting each moment with sincere urge to learn & produce, still manage to savor the joy that comes your way, the work & life can just be fun!

The Influential Men

Have you met a kind of person who turns you into a passive listener when you talk with him; yet, when you finish, you don’t feel like being dominated but won & guided? Who runs into you when you challenge him but you end up taking his arguments as preaching & not offence. Who hurls the pure laughter on some occasional joke- which more often than not he only cracks- that confirms that fun in the event is thoroughly savored as it’s mean to be. Who keeps his face & tone expressionless no matter whether he goes through obliteration or achievement. Who throws himself completely into the task in hand when he starts doing things & leads from the front in whatever he does. Who often chooses to step out of his comfort zone to be a ship in the everlasting ocean-be it stormy or serene- far away from the shore; still envisages as if he owns the sea. Who is seen enjoying each moment of his life with the purest joy; commanding a pleasure he knows, he owns & deserves.

Yes?

Then you had had the chance of meeting one of those superlative men on earth. The men with fierce clarity in their minds, demanding firmness in their decisions, decisive authority in their voices & brilliant radiance in their eyes. That’s why when you have a rare chance to have a yak with such a person, your eyes are held by his; going deep into your conscience to unearth your mind. And you sense the distant feeling that some way or the other you are answerable to this man & to the laws of ethics he has created. Influence, as they call it!

The opulence of the world is hoarded in the men like these. They produce more than they consume to add value to commodities they create through their work.

I hadn’t had the privilege of meeting such people many times but whatever opportunities I had; they shelled out giving some imperative revelations. The revelations that render the verity that the suffering they are given by the world is the exact antithesis of the peace & serenity seen on their face.

It’s said that the greatness is a product of pain. And the pain comes from the sacrifice of the dearest. Be it a thing, feeling, emotion or person. These men are used to bearing this pain so effortlessly that we wonder from where they summon the strength to continue moving ahead in tough times, unaffected by the agony in life. Such is their epitome; that the belongings they renounce appear not their needs but the things in need of them!

I find these barons very good at taking uncomfortable decisions in quick time. And they do it in full knowledge of the purpose of their actions & the consequences of the same. This needs deserting some things for the well being in long run They sacrifice the gratification as the first cost of solving problem, emotion as the first cost of learning lesson & desire as the first cost of core competence, their greatest tool. Thus so because they know the basic rule: “Never expect anything of nature without trading your best effort in return. Earn your need. Pay for it.” And they know that these forfeits are the price for the life they will, the grand finale which eventually justifies the fights they summoned for these sacrifices.

In the end, when the battle is won with a great deal of endeavor put in, they are left with the perpetual feeling of triumph: “I’ve paid enough to win the world! I’ve earned enough to move the world!!”

They walk tall. Always. Through the grave of human ethics. Through the depravity of poor bastards pulling their leg. Through the battles with mean, fought on no moral grounds. Through the semblance of corrupt, coward minds who throw the weight around while talking aloud, but turn the face other way around in the need of action, taking neither lead nor subordination. They stand all these. And never refrain from fight.

How do they do it? And more importantly, why?

I think what forbids a productive mind the best it can put up, is the weakening feeling that comes in different forms. As fear. As anger. As despair. As hatred. As complacency. But the factor that affects most is guilt. The guilt of not having abided by the moral code that has a wider acceptance. But the powerful people are devoid of this feeling as they live by their own rules for, as I mentioned, they act in full acknowledgment of their actions & the reasons that justify the same. They are the guiltless people. Strongest on earth. And hence show the integrity to give justice to their pursuit- to transform this world into their world. The world with peace & pure happiness. They are seen fighting & winning in all these scenarios.

At times they try to live on the edge as if they love every moment of insanity. Because they understand that those who think the edge is not enough, take too much space & world always runs short of space. After all what’s life without a little game?…a little risk?…a little adventure?

Often I find them completely starved of emotion. But a few acquaintances showed me that they are as human as a common man, having highest regard & attachment for the things they value. But this indifference to emotion requires an effort not to reveal those expressions on face & body language. The effort that borrows some part of their everlasting, unlimited strength.

Finally, the usual symptom of a great man is his integrity & courage to go against the mass flow denying the established system. Now all those giggling faces would ask why oppose the code of the junta? I’d just care to give the lines which one of my friends utters many times:

“Those who swim against the flow of river don’t do so because they want to discern themselves from the rest. They do so because they know that their goals are at the other side”

That’s all.

-Om.